When I Fall
by CassetteTapes
Summary: Elizabeth/Nadine Nadine witnesses Elizabeth having an emotional breakdown after Iran. ONESHOT


Elizabeth/Nadine

Nadine witnesses Elizabeth having an emotional breakdown after Iran.

"Can you describe what you saw in Iran?" Matt asks, eyeing the Secretary of State cautiously.

Elizabeth freezes, eyes widening in fear before misting over. The whole staff stays deathly silent as they watch Madam Secretary loose herself in a not so pleasant flashback. It last a mere ten seconds but to everyone in the room it felt more like ten minutes. The intensity and deep grief in their boss's eyes was permanently engraved in each of their minds...especially Nadine's.

"Madam Secretary?" She asks, trying to snap Elizabeth out of her trance.

"Hmm? Sorry...could you repeat the question?"

"Yes I...of course." Matt nods, looking back down at the paper.

"Maybe we should take a break." Nadine suggests, seeing the clear terror and pain etched into Elizabeth's face.

"Yeah.." She nods, standing up all too quickly and practically running from her office. Nadine, wasting no time follows her, only to have a bathroom door slammed in her face. Huffing in defeat, the Chief of State leans against the wall and rests her head on the bathroom wall. And soon enough she hears muffled sobs from the room.

Nadine feels her heart clench, she knew that Elizabeth wouldn't return from this trip unscathed but to hear her suffering was almost too much to bear. Whatever Elizabeth had witnessed in Iran that she had kept from them could be nothing good. Fred had died on top of her, the ambassador a few feet away, but there was something else...something that had broke her. Squeezing her own eyes shut, she listens to her friend cry. "Madam Secretary?"Nadine almost whispers after a few minutes.

"N...Nadine?" Comes the choked question from inside the restroom.

"Are you okay?"

"No..."

Opening her eyes, Nadine pushes herself off the wall and debates what to do next. Why she had even followed Elizabeth was beyond her...or perhaps she just didn't want to face the real reason of her deep rooted concern. No matter, she was here now, and had made her presence known so there was not much she could do but this, "Can I come in?" She murmurs.

There is a pause in the sniffles, before the handle to the bathroom jiggles and then opens a crack. Nadine cannot see the other woman but she can assume that it will not be a pretty sight. No...no...she takes that thought back, no matter what Elizabeth is always beautiful. Pushing those thoughts from her head, she glances around to make sure no one is watching before stepping into the bathroom.

The door shuts and locks in the matter of seconds and then her eyes settle on Elizabeth. There are tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, causing her mascara to run onto her cheeks. She is practically shaking, hands clenched in front of her as if trying to steady herself. But it is the look in her eyes that makes Nadine's heart snap in two. Haunted, that was the only way to describe it.

The two women stared at one another in silence for a few moments before Elizabeth's knees buckle. Thanks only to Nadine's quick reflexes does she not hit the tile floor. "Hey..hey..." Nadine murmurs, lowering the blonde to the floor ever so slowly.

"I...I...I...they d...died...right there..." Elizabeth choked out between tears, burying her head in the crook of Nadine's neck.

"I know.." She stroked Elizabeth's incredibly soft blonde hair in a futile attempt to soothe her.

"Abdul saw...saw...his f..father d..die.." That was it...that was what had broke her Nadine realized, "He kept sc...screaming and...and I...I just...I..."

"There was nothing you could've done...it wasn't your fault."

"Fred was dead on...on top of me and..and I couldn't r..reach him..."

"Elizabeth..."

"He...he..k..kept sc..screaming and I couldn't...I couldn't..."

"Everything is going to be okay..." She whispered, drawing circles on the Secretary's back to try and even out her breathing.

"B..but..I just...I couldn't...I...N..Nadine...I...Nadine..." Elizabeth's hands gripped the back of her blazer tightly, almost as if she thought letting go would make her disappear.

"Elizabeth...I'm right here. Just breathe, it's okay."

"Nadine..I...don't leave me...d..don't leave me. I need you.."

"I won't. I promise, I'm right here."

Falling back into sobs, Elizabeth placed a single kiss on the side of Nadine's neck. Then pulling her friend closer and threading her fingers through black curls. She held onto Nadine for dear life and Nadine held onto her, soothing her gently as she cried her heart out. Both women well aware that someone could be hearing them, but honestly neither cared. Elizabeth was only aware of one person, and that was the person who was holding her. Nadine too, only thought of one person, and that was the person who was cradled in her arms.

Elizabeth continued to mumble Nadine's name between sobs until all her tears were shed and her throat was dry. Then she just breathed, breathed in the scent of Nadine's perfume, something that smelled like...coffee? No matter, it smelled nice. A small smile formed on the blonde's lips as she opened her still wet eyelashes to look up at her Chief of Staff.

Nadine had her eyes closed, tear tracks wet on her cheeks as well. Nonetheless, her hand was still absentmindedly rubbing Elizabeth's back. Carefully, Elizabeth unclenched her fingers from Nadine's now rather tangled black locks. This alerted the other woman to open her eyes and look down at her. No words were spoken as they stared at one another solemnly, two pairs of red rimmed eyes, two heads of mussed hair, and two saddened hearts.

With an unspoken agreement, the women untangled themselves and stood. Elizabeth reached into her purse and pulled out a small hairbrush, handing it to Nadine before turning on the sink. They took turns splashing their faces with water, brushing out tangled hair, and reapplying smudged makeup. Still in silence. When both women had straightened their outfits and become presentable once more, Elizabeth spoke, "Nadine..." Her voice was hoarse.

"Yeah?" Nadine's body practically whipped around to face her boss.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, I'm sorry I couldn't be more of a help."

"Oh but you did help. I..." The Secretary cleared her throat, "Thank you for listening."

"Of course." Nadine nodded, looking down at her feet nervously, a move that she rarely did.

Silently, Elizabeth wrapped Nadine in a hug, before letting go and just as silently exiting the small bathroom. After a few moments Nadine did the same, straightening her back and leaving the restroom promptly.

If anyone suspected, or had heard anything, they didn't say. Both the Secretary of State and Chief of Staff managed to carry on with their day as though nothing had happened but everytime they saw one another there was a strangely warm exchange of smiles.

Hey guys! Let me know what you think!! I enjoyed writing this one and hope you enjoyed reading it.


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